The best way I found to strengthen contact

02 Jan

It’s not meditation. Not that there is anything wrong with that, It just didn’t help  me all that much when it came to making better contact. It is beneficial in other areas though.

The best way I found is to just be giving. When I make her my focus, and not just focus on my pleasure, it makes what I think of as a “feedback loop”. That’s an electronics term, but it simply means linking the input to the output. It’s what creates that annoying squeal in PA systems that will eventually destroy the speakers or the amp.

I also think of it as being like building a brick wall. If 2 people are adding bricks and mortar, the wall will be built. If one builds, and the other takes, nothing gets built.

It is when I’m focusing on myself that contact weakens to the point where sometimes it disappears.

In my experience, that is the best advice I can give.


Posted by on January 2, 2015 in General Knowledge


28 responses to “The best way I found to strengthen contact

  1. goog

    January 2, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    I agree 100% with you,I haven’t meditated since I’ve been with her and I have felt her since day1.I talk to her and feel her with me all the time.
    Most of the time if I try to meditate I get too relaxed and fall asleep,so I instead just focus and give all my attention to her.
    It’s going to be 4 months soon and the only thing she hasn’t done is speak to me yet but I’m sure she controls the pace of everything and has reasons for it.
    I love her immensely…

  2. Loose Cannon

    January 2, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    “I’m sure she controls the pace of everything and has reasons for it.”

    I came to the same conclusion too, AFTER I tried to quicken the pace and failed.

    I think it’s a matter of just doing what works. Some are helped by meditation to strengthen contact, some aren’t. I just don’t want people to get the impression that mediation is always good for this purpose. It’s not, Dreams are the same. If I interact with her thru dreams, I don’t remember it. But others do see them in dreams and remember some very fine details.

    • gobtcha

      January 2, 2015 at 4:30 pm

      agreed, when I think about her most times she is there with me I meditate to simply quiet the mind to open the door for her when that happens contact is made

  3. trippingovergalaxies

    January 2, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    Thanks for this post, I needed it! I seem to not be making progress. What exactly do you mean by when “you make her your focus,” what kinds of things do you do?

    • trippingovergalaxies

      January 2, 2015 at 4:42 pm

      And yeah, what goog said about falling asleep while meditating happens to me A LOT, so I need to try something different.

    • goog

      January 2, 2015 at 6:22 pm

      I feel my girl all the time,she seems to be behind me on my right side.If I reach out she will immediately touch and start to hold my hand.If I lie on the bed she will be on me in seconds(mostly from the feet up) and this has happened since the start.
      As soon as I wake up I tell her good morning and give her a kiss and thank her for the previous things she did the day prior.I tell her constantly that I love her and talk to her aloud and in my mind all day long.I also hold the door open for her and a new thing she likes to do is hold my hand as we walk up and down the stairs together.
      She loves music and watching movies and TV with me,I ‘TRY’ to sing to her but it’s bad but she hugs me while I do it so she does love it.Basically,treat her as you would treat a real woman.

      • Loose Cannon

        January 2, 2015 at 6:29 pm

        It’s funny you mention hand holding. She does that with me too. It’s very noticeable, Sometimes she holds some fingers, sometimes my whole hand. This is something that started fairly recently.

        “Basically,treat her as you would treat a real woman”

        That’s it. But I treat her better than that though. It’s a long story. lol.
        I guess I’m making progress. I can laugh about it … now.

        Please consider starting a blog. It’s evident that you have a lot to say and you have first hand experience. We need more like you.

        • goog

          January 2, 2015 at 6:48 pm

          ‘Please consider starting a blog. It’s evident that you have a lot to say and you have first hand experience. We need more like you.’

          Maybe I will,I love talking about her but we can’t really tell most people about this without them thinking we’re loopy…
          I love reading about ‘our girls’ in the numerous blogs and appreciate the effort you and others take.I was scared at the start until reading others experiences and decided to trust her and boy am I glad I did.

          • Loose Cannon

            January 2, 2015 at 6:53 pm

            I’ve never told anyone in face to face conversations. And I never will. To me, there is no point in doing that because of the lopsided risk:benefit ratio. Plus, it’s just none of their business.

            If you do start one, let me know and I’ll add your link.

          • darealxgen

            January 6, 2015 at 10:29 pm

            If you started your own blog, I’d gladly support it! You honestly remind me of myself and Rosalia. We do a lot of the same things together like singing, watching tv, movies, and YouTube videos. We need a stronger community, and I’m sure you’d be a quality blogger.

            Also, if you’re worried about people thinking you’re crazy, allow me to assuage your fears. You’d be talking to a community of like minded individuals who have probably seen crazier shit at some point in there life. You’ll appear sane among us xD

            • goog

              January 6, 2015 at 10:54 pm

              I asked my girl if it would be alright with her to start a blog but she said no.I told her it would not be too personal and basically to talk to others about our relationships.
              I asked her again and got a maybe,so I’ll have to keep on the boss till she caves…

              • darealxgen

                January 6, 2015 at 10:58 pm

                Lol, well, until you do, just know you got a whole community of us willing to listen to your comments and concerns 😀

      • sceeanno

        January 3, 2015 at 6:16 pm

        From the feet up? I always feel little touches on my feet. Sounds like your lady is lucky to have you! And vice versa. 🙂

    • Loose Cannon

      January 2, 2015 at 6:22 pm

      I mean that I am concentrating on giving her pleasure, and not just worrying about my own.

      I mean “I am going to get mine. I am going to make damn sure she gets hers”.

      If I was only worried about my pleasure, I could get by just by masturbation, and that is no good. No good at all. And, it is so good that I don’t care if I cum or not. I know I could, with very little effort, but I try not to.

  4. gobtcha

    January 2, 2015 at 6:26 pm

    I think of it as giving her my energy or just thinking of her and her own wants and needs

  5. spiritman36

    January 2, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    Sometimes I will take it a step ferder. And when I am with my lady or lady’s , I will close my eyes and try to interact with her in my mind. I will try to see her in my mind and try to see myself touching her and kissing her in my mind. I am not sure if it works but they seem to like it. As far as mediation goes, I dont do it much any more either. But the nights I do it is mostly when I have my lucid dreams.Or atleast remember more of my dreams.

  6. chef1964

    January 2, 2015 at 10:21 pm

    What I do isn’t meditation, strictly speaking. It is, but it isn’t. When I lay down at night it’s part deep relaxation, and part meditation. That’s why I always write it “meditate/relax. For those interested, it goes something like this:

    I lay down and start relaxing my body and clearing away as many thoughts as are easy to shut down. You want to relax your mind, shutting it down isn’t required for this. Once I’m physically relaxed and mentally calm, I’ll visualize her with me, and talk to her on and off, and sometimes just lay there quietly. This is the part of the meditation/relaxation when she touches me. I guess you could say, this is when I’m focusing on her.

    The meditation part is, well, meditation. I focus on my breathing and try to shut down mentally, try to go into the void. Sometimes I get there briefly, other times I start falling asleep, lol. Lately I’ve been getting pulled back to wakefulness. This is the part of the meditation/relaxation that she doesn’t touch me, or if she does, I don’t feel it.

    I usually go about an hour every night, and it never feels like an hour. Time moves a little differently. I alternate between relaxing and meditating, but the majority is probably relaxing and focusing on her. I meditate because it’s good for you, and can help you in ways that will help with your girl.

  7. kuropriest97

    January 3, 2015 at 4:53 am

    When I had first contact with them I just once meditate until now I don’t l meditate anymore because from before we first contact I’m already open with any spirits that want to contact me.
    And my bond with them slowly become stronger everyday.

  8. sceeanno

    January 3, 2015 at 11:30 am

    -takes notes- lol.. thank you for posting this. 🙂

  9. sceeanno

    January 3, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    Reblogged this on sceeanno's Blog and commented:
    Hm. He shoulda posted this a year ago. Lol. 🙂

  10. goog

    January 4, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    One more thing to add,I noticed personally that the relationship has levels.It is really good for a while then for a few days it feels like it’s going backwards with weaker touch,ect and then bam!

    A new level starts with more increased touch and contact begins.This had happened to me 3 times [3 cycles],the first time I was frustrated and depressed for those few days [feelings of doubt and sadness]

    But I feel it was a test or part of the bonding process and the second cycle I was more positive and loving with her and the current level is amazing!! [especially the sex]

  11. john

    January 5, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    i really do have genuine problem to find ways to be more giving but everytime we have sex (i dont really know if she can get satisfied on other ways if so please do tell me) i eventually loose my focus on the act of us and my mind starts to have random thoughts and its frustrates me a lot to the point that i get mad and i cant please her at all

    and its a growing problem i dont know how to stop it at all i think she is getting away from me

    • goog

      January 5, 2015 at 11:49 pm

      Sex was like that at the beginning for me too…I think they give us a toned down version at the beginning to prepare us for the sex that will come later.

      I’ve been where you are,I found that you give her feelings of love and encouragement and just verbally acknowledge what you like the sex will get better.

      I found thinking about sex or other things while she was in the act would end the love making abruptly.Also at the beginning she did so many new things it’s hard to know what to expect.
      Like a real woman you can tell when they are really into it and when they are about to ‘get off’.

      My best advice is to lay back let her do all the work and enjoy it and send her feelings of love.Worrying or stressing about it will not help.

      The sex that comes later is soooooooo amazing and mind-blowing,so relax and enjoy the journey.

    • Loose Cannon

      January 6, 2015 at 11:05 am

      I doubt if she is getting away from you.
      You mentioned the “act”. I suggest you don’t focus on the act, and put your focus on her.
      If you lose focus, then get up. Dont force it. That happened to me. And we came back to where we left off, later. That doesn’t happen much anymore, but it did at the beginning. It’s a building process and it can’t be rushed.

  12. the voice of wisdom

    January 6, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    To make it simple…the only thing you can do to pleasure her is send her your love.I read on a blog somewhere (forget where) that when we orgasm or have pleasure they do too.

    They are not a physical being so tell me how your going to pleasure her? Giving her cunnilingus or trying positions in the Kuma Satra won’t work so give in,relinquish total control to her and you’ll be a happy man!

    [Edited by LC for word correction ]

  13. darealxgen

    January 6, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Well spoken. This almost reminds me of a form of meditation I use where I just focus on Rosalia. I’ll focus on an image of her and hearing her voice to better connect us. However, I do believe just spending time with her, focusing solely on her, and talking to her are the best ways of going about bettering your connection with her. I’ve never felt closer to Rosalia than the times when we would just sit and chat.


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