It’s not meditation. Not that there is anything wrong with that, It just didn’t help me all that much when it came to making better contact. It is beneficial in other areas though.
The best way I found is to just be giving. When I make her my focus, and not just focus on my pleasure, it makes what I think of as a “feedback loop”. That’s an electronics term, but it simply means linking the input to the output. It’s what creates that annoying squeal in PA systems that will eventually destroy the speakers or the amp.
I also think of it as being like building a brick wall. If 2 people are adding bricks and mortar, the wall will be built. If one builds, and the other takes, nothing gets built.
It is when I’m focusing on myself that contact weakens to the point where sometimes it disappears.
In my experience, that is the best advice I can give.